I'm just a little bitcaught in the middleLife is a mazeand love is a riddleI don't know where to goI can't do it alone(I've tried)and I don't know why
Slow it downmake it stopor else my heart is going to pop'cuz it's too muchYeah, it's a lotto be something I'm not
I'm a foolout of love'cuz I just can't get enough
I'm just a little bitcaught in the middleLife is a mazeand love is a riddleI don't know where to goI can't do it alone(I've tried)and I don't know why
I am just a little girl lost in the momentI'm so scaredbut don't show itI can't figure it outit's bringing me down I knowI've got to let it goand just enjoy the show
The sun is hotin the skyjust like a giant spotlightThe people follow the signand synchronize in timeIt's a jokeNobody knowsthey've got a ticket to that showYeah
I'm just a little bitcaught in the middleLife is a mazeand love is a riddleI dont know where to goI can't do it alone(I've tried)and I don't know why
I am just a little girl lost in the momentI'm so scaredbut don't show itI can't figure it outit's bringing me down I knowI've got to let it goand just enjoy the show
oh ohJust enjoy the showoh oh
I'm just a little bitcaught in the middlelife is a mazeand love is a riddleI dont know where to goI can't do it alone(I've tried)and I don't know why
I am just a little girl lost in the momentI'm so scaredbut I don't show itI can't figure it outit's bringing me down I knowI've got to let it goand just enjoy the show
dum de dumdudum de dum
Just enjoy the show
dum de dumdudum de dum
Just enjoy the show
I want my money backI want my money backI want my money backJust enjoy the show
I want my money backI want my money backI want my money backJust enjoy the show
Monday, August 24, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
taralets
sugod, magpakailanman, superhero ,gising,noypi,halleluyah
i love filipino music..I'm a rocksteddy fan...got the chance to see them up close..i sat behind them on the plane to gensan and behind them as well sa check in..pati na sa arrivals baggage claim..even got a picture with them,but twas with my uncle's collegue employee's camera..
songs do bring back memories...
memories..they are strong.and time can never take them away..but dementia n alzheimer's could..
memories-like my first month as a pedia nurse in 2006..
self actualizations comes up..about my career.it's joys and sorrows..
I am turning 25.I ought to be better than myself .I am still not.
i love filipino music..I'm a rocksteddy fan...got the chance to see them up close..i sat behind them on the plane to gensan and behind them as well sa check in..pati na sa arrivals baggage claim..even got a picture with them,but twas with my uncle's collegue employee's camera..
songs do bring back memories...
memories..they are strong.and time can never take them away..but dementia n alzheimer's could..
memories-like my first month as a pedia nurse in 2006..
self actualizations comes up..about my career.it's joys and sorrows..
I am turning 25.I ought to be better than myself .I am still not.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
first day high
tomorrow's my first day of class..
this morning i had been on a seminar...concepts of mental health..simplified version.
I'm glad i still remember psychia..got to answer most of rob's(our regional manager)questions.
even when i wasn't too sure.
well everyone in the room was astonished to know that I'm scared of earthworms...well any kind of worms.flatworms,tapeworms...
i need to wake up earlier than usual to catch my train..and im still awed by the london victoria(train station).i mean it's like a movie scene really..people rushing,moving,walking,running so fast..its a rat race!
especially in the underground train...the funny part is sometyms well,most times we dont know what train to take or which platform to go to untill we arrive at the next station..like coehlo had said---follw the signs *^^*
or,follow the arrows
but the rush hour...4-5pm OMG rush hour jud.u really have to like make bantay a spot sa platform,,,mind the gap though n be ready once the doors open...
n wen u arrive in the main station pauli..the screen wont say which platform until like 5 mins b4 depature so b quick to look up n run..
Sicut me Deus Adjuvet
this morning i had been on a seminar...concepts of mental health..simplified version.
I'm glad i still remember psychia..got to answer most of rob's(our regional manager)questions.
even when i wasn't too sure.
well everyone in the room was astonished to know that I'm scared of earthworms...well any kind of worms.flatworms,tapeworms...
i need to wake up earlier than usual to catch my train..and im still awed by the london victoria(train station).i mean it's like a movie scene really..people rushing,moving,walking,running so fast..its a rat race!
especially in the underground train...the funny part is sometyms well,most times we dont know what train to take or which platform to go to untill we arrive at the next station..like coehlo had said---follw the signs *^^*
or,follow the arrows
but the rush hour...4-5pm OMG rush hour jud.u really have to like make bantay a spot sa platform,,,mind the gap though n be ready once the doors open...
n wen u arrive in the main station pauli..the screen wont say which platform until like 5 mins b4 depature so b quick to look up n run..
Sicut me Deus Adjuvet
neither trumpets nor drums
this is my own elegy for nanay cory.
nanay cory was God's gift to the Philippines..She doesn't even know me..but i know her and her indomitable spirit.She was an epitome of sincerity and honesty..and deep faith In God.
She was,in a way a mother to me.and will always be one of the reasons y i'll always be proud to be a Filipino...She taught me love of country like the late francis m..
I promise to continue telling her story so that filipinos of the next generation will know her n will never forget her..
to nanay cory....i'll tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree...
Thank you very much
Goodbye.
nanay cory was God's gift to the Philippines..She doesn't even know me..but i know her and her indomitable spirit.She was an epitome of sincerity and honesty..and deep faith In God.
She was,in a way a mother to me.and will always be one of the reasons y i'll always be proud to be a Filipino...She taught me love of country like the late francis m..
I promise to continue telling her story so that filipinos of the next generation will know her n will never forget her..
to nanay cory....i'll tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree...
Thank you very much
Goodbye.
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
one good person--conrado de quiros
I’VE written a good many things about Cory this past couple of weeks. I guess it’s time I got a little more personal.
I wasn’t an ardent fan of Cory at the beginning, I was an ardent critic. I came from the ranks of the red rather than the yellow, and looked at the world from the prism of that color. It got so that in one program Kris Aquino invited me to (I don’t know if she remembers this), she took me to task for it. It was an Independence Day show, and during one break, Kris turned to me and said: “Why are you so mean to my mom?”
I was, to put it mildly, taken aback. It’s not easy finding a clever answer to an accusation like that put with breathtaking candor. I just flashed what I thought would be a disarming smile. I don’t know if it disarmed.
What can I say? Maybe I’m just naturally mean. Or maybe I just say what I mean and mean what I say.
Years later, when the world had turned, and not for the better, I got an unexpected phone call. Cory was at the other end, which awed me. She said she was calling just to express her appreciation for something I had written about her. I do not now recall what it was. What I recall was mumbling something about not being the best person to say those things in light of what I had been saying before. She said that wasn’t true: I was the best person to say those things because of what I had been saying before.
I appreciated the appreciation.
Still years later, I would have cause to appreciate yet one more thing. That was February this year when, from out of the blue, Cory visited at the wake of my mother. I did not bother to ask, “Why are you so kind to my mom?” I knew by then it was her nature to be so.
She stayed for about an hour, and did much of the talking. Boy, could she talk! I didn’t know that before. But I’ve always been a good listener. She talked, I listened. What we talked about is best left for another time. But afterward, I thought: What strange directions life takes. What strange forks, detours, and crossings life takes.
I’ve seen activists who began by serving the people, or exhorting the world to, end up serving only themselves. And I’ve seen students who thought only of saving their families end up saving the world, or trying to. I’ve seen the best and the brightest turn only into the worst and greediest. And I’ve seen someone who was walang alam, or who was made out to be so, teach the world a thing or two about honor and courage and grace.
Maybe it’s not so strange that people who start out being enemies on grounds of principle end up being friends on those same grounds. And people who start out being friends without principle end up being enemies on that same ground.
I wondered, like someone who had come back to where he started and saw the place for the first time: Maybe colors are there to unite us more than separate us. Maybe red is just the blood that pulses in the veins in love and war. Maybe yellow is just the pages of a letter from a loved one that magically bring him back to life. Maybe blue is just the sky, however cloudy, when looked at through the bars of a prison cell. Maybe green is just fields promising plenitude. Maybe black is just the tangle of our fate, the twists and turns of our life, as we grope our way forward. Maybe white is just the grace to push on, amid the darkness.
I wondered with the wisdom of innocence and the naivete of age: Maybe we’re divided only into good people and bad people. How people are so, or become so, I’ll leave others to divine. Maybe they are just born that way, maybe like scorpions they sting because it is in their nature to sting. Or maybe they are made that way, as much by the circumstances that mold their character as their character that molds their circumstances. But bad people are there; we know that only too well. Just as well, good people are there too; we know that even more so.
We know the latter because we had someone walk with us who was so. Someone who was so disinterested in power she accepted it gravely as a matter of duty and gave it up gracefully as a matter of trust, for which she remains an awesome force even in death. Someone who, while she lived, showered not very small kindnesses on others in their hour of need or bereavement, having known bereavement herself and the comfort of empathy as much as the empathy of comfort, for which she continues to live with us even in death. Someone who proved once before as Joan of Arc and who will prove once again like El Cid the terrifying and wondrously prophetic vision of her faith: The exalted shall be humbled and the humble exalted.
In life and in death, Cory has been—pardon my French—one damn good person.
Good persons of the world, unite. You have nothing to lose but your bane.
* * *
Malacañang’s decision to declare today a holiday has nothing to do with commiserating with those who have lost a loved one, which is the whole nation. It has everything to do with preventing the explosion of love for Cory from becoming an explosion of fury at the opposite of Cory, who isn’t just Ferdie. Be there at the funeral procession today. Be there to keep Cory alive. Be there to bury tyranny in a deep dark grave.
I wasn’t an ardent fan of Cory at the beginning, I was an ardent critic. I came from the ranks of the red rather than the yellow, and looked at the world from the prism of that color. It got so that in one program Kris Aquino invited me to (I don’t know if she remembers this), she took me to task for it. It was an Independence Day show, and during one break, Kris turned to me and said: “Why are you so mean to my mom?”
I was, to put it mildly, taken aback. It’s not easy finding a clever answer to an accusation like that put with breathtaking candor. I just flashed what I thought would be a disarming smile. I don’t know if it disarmed.
What can I say? Maybe I’m just naturally mean. Or maybe I just say what I mean and mean what I say.
Years later, when the world had turned, and not for the better, I got an unexpected phone call. Cory was at the other end, which awed me. She said she was calling just to express her appreciation for something I had written about her. I do not now recall what it was. What I recall was mumbling something about not being the best person to say those things in light of what I had been saying before. She said that wasn’t true: I was the best person to say those things because of what I had been saying before.
I appreciated the appreciation.
Still years later, I would have cause to appreciate yet one more thing. That was February this year when, from out of the blue, Cory visited at the wake of my mother. I did not bother to ask, “Why are you so kind to my mom?” I knew by then it was her nature to be so.
She stayed for about an hour, and did much of the talking. Boy, could she talk! I didn’t know that before. But I’ve always been a good listener. She talked, I listened. What we talked about is best left for another time. But afterward, I thought: What strange directions life takes. What strange forks, detours, and crossings life takes.
I’ve seen activists who began by serving the people, or exhorting the world to, end up serving only themselves. And I’ve seen students who thought only of saving their families end up saving the world, or trying to. I’ve seen the best and the brightest turn only into the worst and greediest. And I’ve seen someone who was walang alam, or who was made out to be so, teach the world a thing or two about honor and courage and grace.
Maybe it’s not so strange that people who start out being enemies on grounds of principle end up being friends on those same grounds. And people who start out being friends without principle end up being enemies on that same ground.
I wondered, like someone who had come back to where he started and saw the place for the first time: Maybe colors are there to unite us more than separate us. Maybe red is just the blood that pulses in the veins in love and war. Maybe yellow is just the pages of a letter from a loved one that magically bring him back to life. Maybe blue is just the sky, however cloudy, when looked at through the bars of a prison cell. Maybe green is just fields promising plenitude. Maybe black is just the tangle of our fate, the twists and turns of our life, as we grope our way forward. Maybe white is just the grace to push on, amid the darkness.
I wondered with the wisdom of innocence and the naivete of age: Maybe we’re divided only into good people and bad people. How people are so, or become so, I’ll leave others to divine. Maybe they are just born that way, maybe like scorpions they sting because it is in their nature to sting. Or maybe they are made that way, as much by the circumstances that mold their character as their character that molds their circumstances. But bad people are there; we know that only too well. Just as well, good people are there too; we know that even more so.
We know the latter because we had someone walk with us who was so. Someone who was so disinterested in power she accepted it gravely as a matter of duty and gave it up gracefully as a matter of trust, for which she remains an awesome force even in death. Someone who, while she lived, showered not very small kindnesses on others in their hour of need or bereavement, having known bereavement herself and the comfort of empathy as much as the empathy of comfort, for which she continues to live with us even in death. Someone who proved once before as Joan of Arc and who will prove once again like El Cid the terrifying and wondrously prophetic vision of her faith: The exalted shall be humbled and the humble exalted.
In life and in death, Cory has been—pardon my French—one damn good person.
Good persons of the world, unite. You have nothing to lose but your bane.
* * *
Malacañang’s decision to declare today a holiday has nothing to do with commiserating with those who have lost a loved one, which is the whole nation. It has everything to do with preventing the explosion of love for Cory from becoming an explosion of fury at the opposite of Cory, who isn’t just Ferdie. Be there at the funeral procession today. Be there to keep Cory alive. Be there to bury tyranny in a deep dark grave.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
ah.basta
i'm terrified .
I'M WORKING TOMORROW MORNING.AND TOMORROW NYT AS WELL.I'll try my best to get some Zzzzz .
hopefully they put me n clare together...
cheese and rice...sunshine and lollipops.
I easily get tired of doing the same things everyday...well before my resident lolos and lolas died..now,i'ts a new batch of mentally ill,sometyms annoying residents.
3 people had died in a week..2 were expected ,the other a surprise.it really comes in 3's..
to mike boy,eds and ray md may u find peace wherever u all may be..
It's very hard not to feel grief..everyday,well most days of the week i feed and care for them.put them to bed at night.talk when they don't even answer back.or try to find some sort of content to what they say..
mike or mikee boy as i call him,wanders early in the morning..i see him on the hall way n greet him a good morning and he would always say good morning dear...he turns the lights off(in other peoples room)
ed's is lady edna..who would say things u least expect
ray md.well i really haven't been attached since his room is downstairs and I'm always upstairs
I'm hoping to get paid mor than a grand..
just needed to pay myself more and my bills,
hoping for a good night tonight
Sicut me Deus adjuvet
I'M WORKING TOMORROW MORNING.AND TOMORROW NYT AS WELL.I'll try my best to get some Zzzzz .
hopefully they put me n clare together...
cheese and rice...sunshine and lollipops.
I easily get tired of doing the same things everyday...well before my resident lolos and lolas died..now,i'ts a new batch of mentally ill,sometyms annoying residents.
3 people had died in a week..2 were expected ,the other a surprise.it really comes in 3's..
to mike boy,eds and ray md may u find peace wherever u all may be..
It's very hard not to feel grief..everyday,well most days of the week i feed and care for them.put them to bed at night.talk when they don't even answer back.or try to find some sort of content to what they say..
mike or mikee boy as i call him,wanders early in the morning..i see him on the hall way n greet him a good morning and he would always say good morning dear...he turns the lights off(in other peoples room)
ed's is lady edna..who would say things u least expect
ray md.well i really haven't been attached since his room is downstairs and I'm always upstairs
I'm hoping to get paid mor than a grand..
just needed to pay myself more and my bills,
hoping for a good night tonight
Sicut me Deus adjuvet
Friday, July 10, 2009
ever mine
eastbourne was nice...something new since the seashore was covered by what the english call pebbles.and what i define as bato..as in ding ang BATO..had a bit of d sun n sea.the bloody cold seawater.twas reall scorching--the sun but the water damn cold.
i did enjoy it.nobody cared f sombody went topless or naked ..or that somebody with the bulges or lumps of adipose tissues wrapped around her body go swimming wearing a swimming suit..well kinda decent don't u think ?it's one piece.
hopefully my boss won't sack me..at least not yet.
or that the home office won't get me deported..i don't even have money saved much less to buy a plane ticket .
Sicut me Deus adjuvet
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
eastbourne experience
5th of july..had decided to try out english summer,or at least an english sun at the beach.me n my mate,jade went to eastbourne.it;s a seaside town.about 2 hr bus ride from maidstone.we did enjoy eating fish n chips.n sunbathing(feeling puti)n swimming n d sea.dey sed it would b pebbles.haha.its stones!but sand na pag sa dagat kna.i didnt expect the dagat water to be bloody ice cold though.the sun s hot but water will make u squirm n shiver.i had the idiocy of wearing my headband,so i lost it n sea.
after a nice quick banlaw we headed for the shops.seafood serve cold in cups,ice cream n candy shop with all sorts of sweets.i bought loads of dried pineapple rings.then came 5pm .time for the bus to pick us up.we went on a 2 decked bus with 50 elderly pipol.kmi lng bata..wer tired n burned as in sunog.i can feel pain n my arms olready.i had a nap n wen i woke up i had a sudden abdominal cramp telling me m supposed to hurry n find the nearest toilet.no such luck as we were still on a bus full of elderly pipol with no toilet n site(puro grass n trees)i told jade i badly need to do number 2.she asked me to hold it in we will b arriving shortly..shortly meant an hr.toture.i even asked her to buzz the bus to stop ill go poo anywere.even on grass.i was olready crying n begging n cursing the blasted shellfish,prawn n mixed seafood serve cold i ate b4 we went on the bus.
so i did buzzed it.went down at the side of the road n poo.pood for england n the philippines n a thorny grassed area on the side of the road.right at that moment i didnt care at all.f anybody sees me
after much pooing.i didnt hav much wet wipes to wipe it all hence my beach towel,n my shorts became the sacrifice.luckily i brought some pairs of knickers n jade has an xtra pair of shorts.it was the most terrible experience ever.in my entire existence.
cars always pulled over since ther wer trafic lyts.wen i finally deemed myself presentable but without much dignity left. i asked jade to call a taxi for me..n came home with the urgency of seeing the toilet again til the next day.until today.hopfully not anymore tomorrow.i had shellfish poisoning.worst AGE i hav ever experirnced.
i lost my headband,my towel,my dress,my once worn shorts,my 20 quid for the taxi,my dignity,
but i didnt lose a friend.hehe.thankfully jade was wid me.or else i wud've just jump out of a bus in a middle of nowhere.at least she had some sense to at least bring me near civilization,were we know exactly wer we r.hay
im off sick till today. so much for experience.hopfully ill b better tomorrow
Sunday, June 07, 2009
amazing maze
48 years after walking round and round.we finally found our way.
actually it found us.
we were giving up already and decided to find not the center but the way out.
then we just found ourselves at the center with an elevated stone.you can see other people losing their way too..and it also turned out that the center is also the way out...through the grotto.we need to go down under.
i can jump
i jumped like a million times before jade captured it haha.it was either im on the ground already or still was about to jump.
next time we'll do tumblings.wish us luck
Saturday, June 06, 2009
summer sandals
bought this sandals almost 2 months ago.from clarks..before it was 40 quidd,then it is 25 quidd.but if a buy a second pair,u'll only have to pay for 1 pound..
hence the matching sandals.we only had to shell out £13 each.done deal aye?
Thursday, June 04, 2009
screaming for ice cream
tiramisu ice cream ---almost too much.hahaha.6 scoops went directly to my flabs.
no carbs this week
Friday, May 29, 2009
Friday, May 08, 2009
benign
my 6 hr shift this afternoon was astoundingly benign,no rushing n stress and me n my team finished ahead of time. maybe because were downstairs..unlike upstairs.
hopefully tomorrow will b the same.i'll b downstairsd again fingers crossed.
having a runny nose and a sorethroat.blame it on the english weather.3:45 pm its raining hard then at 3:50 its all bright sunny..the sun is up but the wind so strong n chilly cold.
and whats more funny its hot and toasty inside the nursing home..im talking about boiling point hot...when ur outside you got frozen,numb fingers inside u sweat more than a pig n u get soooooooooo thirsty everytym.
but its nooot the same everyday though.
somedays u take pride doing ur work well,somedays it feels like u did all the work--no pride in that.only body pains and stress.some days u got the fabulous wogwan team,some days nobody turns up but u.that would be the worst..wishin u didnt show up as well.
sicut me Deus adjuvet
Thursday, May 07, 2009
tweegy
we weren't really close ,i mean not friends friends if not for the completion and graduation thing.and she is my friend's friend so that started it.the friendship.
bloomed through our review together with the rest of the gang--the healthy babies..the endless koreanovela marathons,food trip--penongs dimsum and not to mention shopping.
and the endless countless times i was broke ,she was there to lend a hand.a hundred even hehehe.n treat me to some decent meals..all of the healthy babies had one point or another lend me money,gave me food even pamasahe sa jeep hahaha.even my fs account,tweegy's the teckie n m da oldie...
in general,im miserable being away from home
but im gonna see them all soon.in about 8 months or so
love u all
bloomed through our review together with the rest of the gang--the healthy babies..the endless koreanovela marathons,food trip--penongs dimsum and not to mention shopping.
and the endless countless times i was broke ,she was there to lend a hand.a hundred even hehehe.n treat me to some decent meals..all of the healthy babies had one point or another lend me money,gave me food even pamasahe sa jeep hahaha.even my fs account,tweegy's the teckie n m da oldie...
in general,im miserable being away from home
but im gonna see them all soon.in about 8 months or so
love u all
Monday, May 04, 2009
in english
dine in or take out?--in english--eatin in or take away
pitcher---jug
vest---sando hehe
pants- trouser
undies--knickers
and words u may likely hear always, oh dear..lovely,smashing,brilliant.
pitcher---jug
vest---sando hehe
pants- trouser
undies--knickers
and words u may likely hear always, oh dear..lovely,smashing,brilliant.
almost
almost a year has gone ,lots of things had happened.
new hair style,new job,..starting anew in a foreign land.
going back to studying,reading more,going places a lot,
eating all sorts of food but still sticking to pinoy n chinese though
missin my hommies,hehe..my friends,my davao,my dog..the food ,msg hahaha
missin my meds,my john lloyd..so much
doing things on my own..exploring places,asking for directions..folllowing the arrows(mainly)
smiling to strangers..
new hair style,new job,..starting anew in a foreign land.
going back to studying,reading more,going places a lot,
eating all sorts of food but still sticking to pinoy n chinese though
missin my hommies,hehe..my friends,my davao,my dog..the food ,msg hahaha
missin my meds,my john lloyd..so much
doing things on my own..exploring places,asking for directions..folllowing the arrows(mainly)
smiling to strangers..
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